Feel


Please understand. A feeling does not pay bills or build houses or work full time or walk home in the dead of night and open doors and sleep through till morning. However still without feeling.   There would be no mothers or fathers.

  There would be no voice on the other end of the telephone when those around are not saying the right thing or not doing the good thing. A feeling is the reason why a person will go to such great lengths to make a decision or a change and why years down the line certain ideas or ideals drive without fear into an unknown and still continue regardless how muddy the rain becomes on windshields. 

  Many come into this world because of feeling and are shaped through Autumn showers and August deaths and rebirths and guardian angels would no longer watch over without a feeling and I do feel that neither of us would have started anything if it was not due to a feeling of freedom or whether that dream was possible or how important it was to feel a connection to another heart whether it was Ziggy Stardust in his old age or the piano man or the little dancer or whatever horrendous event that occurred on the dance floor that night that we swore we’d never forget and we didn’t at all because of a feeling. 

  I am not quite Kirk and neither are you Spock and not that you should be and how can you be and why should any of us lock down to such a specific and perhaps outdated icon regardless of remakes or reboots and so many names and numbers and so many social media outlets and how many of those things are truly draining to feeling because honestly they are not feelings, they are business models used to trick us into believing that we are sharing feelings and in that we are being used for our feelings to produce dollar bills, the pounds and pence the dollars and cents and radio heads call to a younger self and how convoluted it is when a feeling becomes a sixth sense and when a study on the brain becomes a movie reference and still. 

  It was a feeling, that urged me to sit out here in place where a feeling had brought me, 

  So far from the many places I once called home to a country I now call home and whether home is a declaration of an emotional tone and if a tone is a bone that should be picked and called to another home. 

  How alone, if I were E.T. would I call Spielberg? Or Soderbergh? Or Sonny and Cher? 

  99 red balloons fly by my window and I wonder why exactly and what is it that precisely provides in me a requirement to only listen to that song in German, it must be a feeling I had. 

  It must be that I was human after all. 

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