The world seems to be in two parks. Marriage and kids are the worst things in the world ; marriage and kids are the best things in the world.
Here’s the real deal. Both marriage and children change your life and they change you. Things are a little more stressful, you become the safety net for your family, it’s harder to rely on family help. You make decisions that take you out of the passionate and painful roller coaster of kidulthood.
You make choices that take you out of danger, so you can be the safety net your family needs you to be. Many see this as destroying the things that make you, you. Let’s be honest though, the things you struggle with, when you change are self care.
You stopped wearing make up, dressing nice and loving your life outside your child because you chose to.
One of the most beautiful sentences I’ve ever heard is, “why should I have a shower, we’re just going to fuck in twenty minutes anyway.”
Yes, it’s incredibly opposite in some ways, but the principle is the same. Why should I look after myself if this beautiful thing that has absorbed my entire life doesn’t care if I have a shower.
A child, like a good lover, adores you regardless of whether you take care of yourself.
So here’s the irony, if you leave yourself dirty and refuse to move from the spot you find yourself, the most perfect beautiful part will become dishevelled and disenchanting. You won’t want to fuck in twenty minutes and you certainly won’t have the energy to play with your child.
What makes it so perfect is a culmination of a million things. If you cease to become you, it ceases to be perfect.
It’s gay pride month. I’ve never actually been directly involved in pride. I’ve spent a notable amount of time in gay bars, I couldn’t exactly tell you why, but something resonates in me. Perhaps it’s a common struggle of acceptance, or maybe it’s just I look good in a dress (don’t tell the gay police, they drive around in their pick up trucks with pieces of chopped wood in the back).
The fact is gay pride is more about accepting sexuality, it’s about diversity and individuality. So accept yourself. And love yourself. You husband, wife, son, daughter and just about everyone you know will appreciate it. I know you don’t quite remember, but try, you can and will love yourself again, if you try hard enough. Poor choice of words but it’s relevant.
Happy pride errybody!