Clinton vs. trump

I’ve been getting into politics a bit (boooo!!) and there’s a whole bunch of stuff that really concerns me. Since Tol Cruz and Kangeroo (or whatever) dropped out, we’re left with three candidates. Bernie Sanders (the only candidate who seems to give a shit about me, the viewer) Hillary Clinton (the very definition of a woman scorned) and Donald trump (a poorly drawn depiction of what I can only assume is a cat in a suit?). 

I understand in America there are only two legitimate parties; republican (xenophobic rich men who want to give money to even richer men in the hopes that they might give some of it back one day) and democrats (who are apparently demons who want to destroy America by protecting its citizens and increasing quality of life?) Quite obviously this can be confusing to a new addition to the country. 

I was raised knowing that there are a whole bunch of people in this world. Some like to fuck women, some like to dress up like women, some actually are women and pretty much all of them hate Jews. Or maybe some of them are Jews, it’s difficult to remember exactly how the story goes. 

I asked around and people seem to have different ideas of who told the story, what the story means and why the story was told in the first place. I honestly think the details are a little vague so I stood up and said that I’m writing my own story about a rock band that G-d hates so specifically that he decides to end the world in order for their music to stop. That didn’t explain much so I wrote a bunch of other stuff and pretty much came to the conclusion that no one really knows what the fuck is really going on in the first place so why any of it should be so important is a fleeting notion and should be treated as such. 

In England the situation is very similar. Labour want to fix society by throwing money at it and conservative want to take the money labour gave to society eight years ago and give it to a few people who assumedly make some kind of giant nest and lay eggs containing their inbred children so that in the future those egg people can do the same to protect the egg colony, eventually settling on a separate planet where they can continually lay eggs in money for all eternity. Which is bizarre for the sole reason that conservatives (along with republicans) seem to think that the space program is a waste of resources and that co2 emissions are made up and that oil (which they go to great extents  to take from giant deserts where dinosaurs, who also didn’t exist, died, eventually creating oil over a time period of 65 million years, which also didn’t happen because the world is no more than six thousand years old) is actually some kind of magic elixir that keeps you looking young, even though many of these politicians look quite old. 

Sanders (apparently the oldest man in the world and a genuine Jew if you were still trying to figure out if they were real) seems to have less interest in magic oils and more interest in helping people to help each other and live in harmony by taking the egg money and distributing it into social programs (which is, I am to understand, witch-craft and is apparently how fires are put out). 

Since he is rubbing the least oils into his face and seems to have less, if any, egg children, I conclude deserves support but since I cannot yet vote, I’ll leave it up to others. 

Others, if I am understanding correctly include you. You should vote for Sanders. 

But wait! There’s more! (Oh G-d no!) it’s not that simple. See trump (the cat I told you about earlier) is the republican candidate and that means he will fight either Clinton or Sanders (who are currently fighting each other). That’s fine if people want to fight, however trump (Which isn’t even a proper noun) wants to build a wall and throw immigrants over it because they tell the story wrong. This seems inherently unfair since the story doesn’t even mention the eggs in question so what quarrel they would have is beyond me. He also hates women (who keep the non-egg race alive by giving birth amongst other things) and that includes men who like the idea of being a woman (I might have been one of those at some point, but that’s not right I’m not gay or is sexuality fluid? no that can’t be right, I have a wife and child but I do earn less than $50,000 dollars which makes me not a republican but wait some republicans earn food stamps but they want any benefits system abolished and they don’t want people on food stamps to have healthcare but some of them using Obama care have food stamps so they want to die with dignity throwing money at egg people?)

It’s all a bit confusing so honestly I’ll get to the point. 

In my childhood I watched Thomas the tank engine (I was one of those kids who liked trains). One of the stories features Henry. He didnt like the rain. On a rainy day he took shelter underneath a tunnel where he remained unable to fulfill his purpose by taking his passengers to the next train station. His boss (the fat controller) realised what an embarrassment this whole thing was and bricked up the tunnel leaving him stuck inside. Henry was really sad and eventually agreed to travel in the rain in hopes that not being bricked up in a tunnel was a better life. 

A protester at a Donald trump rally insisted that America should build a wall around trump. 

Picture related. 

Note; neither picture belongs to me and are not intended as such

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