Awkward messy stuff

  Okay lets talk about social anxiety. It’s like this. You know exactly how a person should act and how they should behave, but you know you are you’re own person and you can’t be that perfect person so you beat yourself up about it. Small things bother you in ways that others can’t even imagine. A mistake that you made 10 years ago bothers you, even though others don’t remember. 
It’s like ocd. You want everything to be perfect but life is not perfect. It’s messy and unreasonable. It doesn’t wait for you to organise it, it just keeps changing and you keep changing within it before you realise what’s actually going on. 
Life is actually a nightmare feeling this way, people who have it worse bother you even more. You know that life isn’t bad, but your brain tricks you into believing that it is. You start thinking, “I want this to end, I wish I was dead, why was I born?” But really you want change and you need to understand that. 
You need to work on yourself, try new things and learn how to protect yourself. Social anxiety is manageable, understand that you will make mistakes and that will bother you more than others, but you have to breath and know that you will make changes and keep growing. Flower as a person, find what you like and do that very well. You don’t have to be social, but it’s a great thing to learn how to do. We’re all in this world together, messing up hardcore. A lot of people just pretend. 

Remember, it’s all easier said than done, just because I can see it, doesn’t mean I can always do the thing.




Work on the new film is doing well, there are some beautiful shots of insects!! And for those of you who mercilessly hat insecs, I have bunnies and cats! 


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